Hey, y’all! It’s India. Obviously lol. Well I am just writing to share with y’all some recent feelings I’ve been feeling & hopefully y’all can relate to me.
So.. It all started with me graduating from high school, getting through the summer (& it was a definite struggle of a summer), & going to college.
Well, after I graduated, life was awesome. I was so excited to go to college & I just knew my summer would be awesome. PUH-LEEZ.
Everything that could go wrong, DID! & I’m just thinking ,”What in the world have I done to deserve this?” Y’all, when I say I was so sad & so done with everything and everyone!! OMG! I don’t have the words. (I can’t do into detail because the details are embarrassing, but I digress.)
So after my summer was so terrible, I moved into college. Me & my roommate were really getting along & we were so excited to live together, blah blah.. Long story short, that didn’t work out. (Very discouraging but thankfully, I’m completely over it now. 😊)
So school starts, people at school are rude, & my classes seem so difficult. I began to get very discouraged, wondering how I’m gonna spend 4 years here.
I missed my high school friends & I began to feel very lonely. I would try to make friends at school but the “friendship” would literally last like a week & then we would just stop hanging out & never talk again. That happened like 5 times. So over it. I just stopped trying to make friends. I felt so lonely though. Countless nights I would cry myself to sleep or just feel so down and out.
I would see everyone with their friends walking around campus while I was alone. I would see my friends from high school on social media with their new friends & I would get even more discouraged because why was everyone having luck with friends & I wasn’t? I’m a nice person, right? People wanna be my friend, right?
Months later, fast forward to late October. This is where I began to feel a little relief & peace about the situation because I became busier with work & school work so I didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on my lack of a social life. This really helped me & served as a constructive, positive distraction.
It took me 3 months of being lonely, depressed, & just downright sad to realize that I don’t need a friend to enjoy my college life. Sure, that’ll be so much fun. But, obviously me trying so hard & overextending myself resulted in me feeling even more drained & feeling like I wasn’t worth being anyone’s friend. Why didn’t people wanna be friends with me? What’s wrong with me? I’m a nice person, right?
The people I was so interested in being friends with turned out to be the types of people I don’t associate myself with. The reason these attempts did not work is because God knew those people would only drag me down. I’m so thankful those friendships didn’t work. Glory to God! 🙌🏾
Current update: I don’t have a lot of friends naturally. 2 of my best friends are out of town at college. I am making friends with my coworkers. Love them! They are so much better! So much nicer than the people I was trying so hard to get close to. These new girls aren’t haters. They aren’t trying to compete with new. They aren’t jealous for no reason. So refreshing! I am so blessed.
I am learning to count my blessings and just enjoy my life. I don’t have time to be worried about who likes me and who doesnt. Half the time they are hating on me so of course they aren’t gonna like me. At least not to my face.
It’s all a game, y’all. People enjoy wasting your time & draining your evergy.
Well, I refuse to allow it any longer. So happy with myself now! Not living for anyone else’s, just me. There is nothing wrong with having me as a friebd, some people just aren’t meant for me to be friends with.
It’s okay, y’all. Life is awesome. You’re alive. You are loved. God is your biggest fan. What more can you ask for?
Let me know in the comments or on my social media links what you thought of this post & if it helped you! Will be posting more soon!
Xo, India 💋